In The Dark

In the dark there’s a creak and it’s closing in. In the dark, I can’t move, I can’t breathe, and the creak, it’s closing in, getting closer.

Nothing…it stopped, the creak stopped. What does that mean? What was it?

…the silence…”Make it come back!” I finally scream through the dark. My voice bounces off the walls of what must be an empty room and slowly it all fades back into silence…into the dark.

I can’t take another moment, my body’s dying and my mind is starting to go numb. This darkness, this silence, it’s going to kill me. …and then the creak…it’s back, in the dark, right behind me. My mind begins racing again and this makes me feel more alive in the dark, all alone…at least I think. But then there’s the creak, right behind me. No longer getting closer but not moving away, just a slow steady creak. One after another; not a tap, but a creak, in the cold wooden floor that’s all around me.

I slide my fingers slowly over the wood beneath and around my body, small soothing motions while I lay in the dark listening to the creak. As my body begins to relax I come to the realization that I should be fighting this. I don’t know where I am, who brought me here or why. And for a second I start to panic, my heart begins to race and a hundred torturous thoughts sprint through my head…but then the creak…it calms me. My pulse slows and all the thoughts of the things that could happen fade away.

I allow the creak to wrap around me, making me feel at peace, at peace with being alone…in the dark. Eventually all thought fades away…everything just fades away…except the creak in the dark where I lie.

Heart-Attack's Prayer

How can I describe what it’s like to have your heart stop, for just an instant...to have it completely stop?

Your breath catches and everything starts to blur. In that instant your mind races faster than you ever thought was possible. You see everything you wished you would have done and your ears ring with shouts of things you wish you would have said. And in your head you scream at the very top of your lungs for another chance because God you know you can make it better!

In those few moments when your heart stops you pray so steadily and so hard for another chance. You BEG and PLEAD for that chance. You can make it better, you will be better, you’ll do ANYTHING….

…and then you gasp and your heart starts its steady thud thud again. It’s strange because the last few seconds seem like a fog and you can barely remember what happened or why it happened…but you know that something profound has occurred, or at least you think so. …but what was it? …were you supposed to do something now? Change something? After a moments thought you decide that nothing really did happen and that you must simply be very tired or stressed, over worked, under paid…and it doesn’t matter…life just goes on.

Who knows though…unfortunately next time you might not be so lucky…